What happened to me?
I finally began to acknowledge my pain. What was causing me so much hurt? After years of thinking I was over it and I was a survivor, I kept getting hit so much, that it became a way of life for me, being a survivor. God doesn’t just desire us to survive, but desires that we thrive, that we have abundant life.
“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” – John 10:10b (NKJV)
I became a functional wounded individual. Even though I was raised in the church and had accepted salvation, I still stressed, I still worried, I still made bad choices, and decisions, and I was always in survival mode.
And then I start acknowledging my pain, and processing it.
Sometimes we know what has hurt us, but we don’t process it through. We “sweep it under the rug”. At some point it is only so much dirt that can hide up under the rug!
I have memories of being sexually abused at a young age by an older relative. For years I felt shame and embarrassment. I felt fearful. I felt confused. I knew it wasn’t right, but who could I tell? He threatened to harm my mom and my sister. When I look back over a series of traumatic instances in my life, yes it hurt to remember. But as I realized, I wasn’t that fearful child anymore, as I embraced the person that God created, not the abused child. I began to move past that pain.
I began to identify the emotional wounds in my life. There was more trauma, and I was hit pretty hard at times. But I began to dress the wounds with the positive things in my life. I began to emotionally bind the wounds that I had suffered with for so long, with God’s help. Wounds that affected every area in my life! Relationships, Education, Work, Parenting, Marriage! I began to exercise my faith in God to keep me! I began to understand that I had purpose and the Enemy wanted to yoke me early in life (as John 10:10a says “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy…”). And as long as I had just a little crack in my spiritual armor, every time something was thrown my way, I crumbled like a saltine cracker! So I had to continue pressing in on the emotional injuries in my life.
And I did it moving….
Don’t let anything stop you from seeking healing. But healing is a choice. If you identify some areas in your life that are totally chaotic, step back and see if you can identify the source. Often times we become the creators of our own chaos because we refuse to look at the person in the mirror. The person that has been emotionally wounded….
It’s time to be healed….
Wounded Hurt But Healed 